I see a change in you. Your attitude are very much different compared to the past. I'm not sure if im the one who caused the change. I don't know. You used to care so much for me and the relationship. That doesn't seem to be the case anymore. The chemistry and love are wearing thin, at least thats what i think. Holy nuts...Its only like 2mths + ?!?! Whats wrong? The calls gets lesser. You seldom take the initiative to text me anymore. Eventually, my call logs don't even have your name anymore. You used to call and text me every single day. Where have all the messages gone to? I hope not to another user. And now, i can see myself waiting by the cellphone, wishing it would vibrate and your name flashing on the screen. I can see myself checking on my cellphone everynow and then for any signs of missed calls or messages, hoping that those are from you. Sad to say, all i get in turn was disappointment.

I can't get used to your new form of treatment. I find it hard to bear and accept. Pretty saddening. Can't help thinking that you don't love me anymore.

Its seems clearer to me now that you wanna cancel your NS deferrment. Not to mention, earliest intake is Jan 2007 and you're so eager to go in. You weren't like that last time. You called me immediately and asked to accompany down to do the deferrment thing back then...you said you don't wanna go in so early partly cause of me. Whats now?

I used to give you shit replies like what you said. 'We'll see abt it, see first, don't know etc' Until you got fed up and stopped initiate to ask me out anymore. It hit me hard right on the spot. Now im the one who text you. im the one who call you. im the one who ask you out. You're the one who give me indefinite shit answers.

You always without failed insisted in sending me home. Somehow, i always said 'We take turns okay? , No need luh, im not a kid pls etc' I can't remember exactly when was the last time you sent me home. I think its ages ago. You don't even stay and accompany me to wait for the bus. Like wow, worse than weijie.

You texted me on 12 midnight on the day of our first month. I got really happy. Yesterday, you didnt. Instead, im the one who messaged you. You replied only after some time. Why?

Have we exchange positions?
Can you not fucking treat me like that?
Are you not happy with the way i am so thats why you're tryna take revenge?
Are you trya make me have a taste of being rejected? Like how i always did to you last time?
Is it when you need someone to hug, to kiss and blablabla then you ask me out?
Please tell me im thinking far too much.

All just got me thinking. Again and again. Can you honour your promise? Can we even last til 120807 and watch fireworks together? I seriously doubt so. Perhaps both of us need to reconsider this before it drags and gets worse. I'm getting bored. I don't know about you. Perhaps, you didnt even notice the problem which is almost impossible.

You got me really upset. I know im at fault too. I don't wanna tear anymore. Felt so bad for breaking down in front of my mom. She got so surprised.

' You think its worth to cry for a guy? '

I don't know...


so near yet so far






where'd you go
i miss you so
seems like its been forever
that you been gone
please come back home