i fear that you gon` turn your back on me.
afraid that all these gon` be short-lived.
scared that you gon` walk away.







-i'll be there,
for you.

Martin says im famous.
(something to do with friendster)





-no comments.

Im amazed at how fast people change.



((=



girls are hard to fathom. guys are harder.

nevermind about that.







got to learn that some subjects for prelims will undergo some moderation. good.
now, i pass my emaths.
=D

Did really badly for my prelims.
damn.




I thought i'd pass emaths this time round.
cuz im confident that my p2 will pass.
well, my p2 did pass.
something just went wrong in p1.
i almost went nuts when i got my p1.
fail so miserably.
its the first time i flunk my p1.
Marcus checked through it.
fcukin` hell lots of careless mistakes.
so much so that i feel like banging my head against the wall.
))=
-slaps head

Amaths, improve a lil.
p1 was soooooo close to passing.
but still, failed...
nevermind.


sub.sci, i will never make it.

Biology, goddamn hell.
i don't know what happen.
most prolly i didn't study for it.


comb.humanities...passed.
didn't score well.
got a stupid c5 for it.


English.
i thought i could AT LEAST secure a b3.
I didn't know that p2 was such a bastard.
now, b4 for me, if only they are kind enough to round off my marks.






At the rate im going, ite is the only way out i guess.
out of 6 subjects, i only managed to pass 2.
omfg.

Fang and Bex made me have the urge to get attach.


why feel this way after being single for so darn long?!?!

cause' i saw how happy Bex was after she got a boyfriend, how happy Fang was after she got a boyfriend. Bex and her guy was exceptionally sweet. They meet everyday blablabla...and i saw those photos which Fang took with her guy. envy okay..

alright. i know im being contradicting, rejecting those males and whining here.



nevermind. you people will never understand.










just to let you know,
i'll always be there.
i don't know if you even bother to read my blog.
but if you do,
think about it...

Maybe one day.
maybe.....

Whats love actually?



Love is hard to define with words, but it is easy to recognise the intimate connection, even after many years, between two people in love.


was with stef at northpoint foodcourt just now. we chatted for quite some time. our topic was on love. yup. relationships.





3 main components of love.


Intimacy.
-How close we feel to someone.
-How well we communicate with the person.
-How comfortable we are with the person.
-How much we trust the person.


Passion.
-How excited we feel about a person.


Commitment.
-The extent to wihich we view our love for someone as something thats gon` last forever.






Some people, when they love, tend generally to feel happy and secure in the love they give and receive. Some tend to be avoidant - always seem to be trying to create distance, or a sense of separation, between themselves and the person they love. There're also some who never feel as though they receive enough love. They are always afraid that the love they receive will not be enough, or even that they will lose the person they love.




Love is the most amazing thing i would say...
Love makes the world goes round.
((=



but well, stop stressing yourself larh. i mean steph...just follow your heart. you'll say ' I don't know.' Be firm with your stand. its your choice ultimately.
Don't be confused cause' he treats you real good or what. like means like. don't like means don't like. i've said this umpteen times already...











the more i learn,
the more i love,
the more my heart can't get enough.
thats when i love you and i love you,
no matter what.

Happy burfdae weijie!!!!



happy.burfdae.happy.burfdae.happy.burfdae.happy.burfdae.happy.burfdae.


=DD








much love,
jjen

that teacher is sick in the mind.
he said i looked like his ex chinese girlfriend.
yucks.

Does weight determine how long you live?

If you can survive the hunger pangs, it sounds like a pretty good deal: Eat less than a supermodel and, in turn, tack a few decades onto your life. Research has shown that ultra-low-calorie diets can improve the longevity of other animals, so why not humans too?
While you may have heard the hype about extreme "calorie restriction" ‑- cutting your food intake by 30 or 40 percent indefinitely ‑- some experts say it's a bad idea.
"In a nutshell, don't do it," advises Lona Sandon, a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. "You need to be sensible about how you approach weight loss, and starvation is not a sensible approach."
To be fair, the aim of calorie restriction (CR) is not starvation. Calorie-restricted diets for longevity are about obtaining the maximum amount of nutrition in the smallest amount of calories by eating only nutrient-dense foods. What does this diet look like? No simple sugars or carbohydrates; plenty of vegetables, especially green, leafy ones; and protein from sources with little to no saturated fats. As you might have guessed, people who subscribe to these diets end up losing a significant amount of weight, at times looking almost emaciated. This begs the question, is a skeletal physique the image of vitality and long-lasting youth





read this somewhere and i thought i might as share it with you guys.
=DD
give it a thought alright...

I know my previous post sounded pretty much exaggerating but well, forget it..

sub.sci p1 ended at around 8++am today. was dismissed damn early. So Laiting, Fang, Bex+bf and i decided to have our breakfast at mac. Chit-chat...kind of boring. went home change and go tuition after which..

meet up with Stef at Northpoint. She wanted to take Neoprint. -slapshead.
ate ljs..

omgomgomgomg.
absolutely no life.
mwa-

what to do?




Feel happy again for fang. she found someone to dote on her. ((=
*clap clap.









-no life.
(yucks)

strange and weird things do happened sometimes. you just got to believe it.


im not sure how to go about blogging it.
It's all inter-link you see...at least thats what i think larh..

alright.
fang said that we'll all book a chalet at changi after 'Os', cuz pasir ris is too common. OLD CHANGI HOSPITAL is where we gon` seek excitement during night time.
she said this quite sometimes ago....


and, here comes my part.
i had a dream. a real scary one.
dreamt that we girls hang out together after our 'Os'..
we went to a place. don't know where, can't remember...
fang got to know a guy. so we + the guy went out together at night.
somehow, we walked to an ulu-malu papaya place...
walk and walk........................................


me and ting( one of the girls) got scared and wanted to go back.
but, the rest just kept walking.
so we follow.
and we arrived at a tunnel.
a freaking long tunnel.
eerie...
but still, we continue making our way into the tunnel.
so stupid right?
just then, we saw GHOST.
yup. GHOST.
hell lots of em.
scattering everywhere.
damn. you know which kinda ghost?
those which you see in Japanese movies.
with the bloody long rebonded hair covering the face...
yup. that kind.
we were all freaked out.



at this point of time, i just opened my eyes.
dream over.
the first thing that flashed across my mind when i woke up was,
OLD CHANGI HOSPITAL.
funny right?
don't ask me why. i just thought of that place.
i told my mom that i won't go changi for the remaining months of 2005 this morning before i went school.


the funny part has not yet come...



we got dismissed at 9++am today.
Curina, Steph, Shanmin and I decided to go Jalan Kayu to eat pratas.
took 858 from yishun cuz we were told that 858 will pass by there.
know what?
the bus ended up going straight to CHANGI AIRPORT.
omg.
when we reached there, the bus went into a tunnel.
yes!! TUNNEL!!!
omfg 2x.
but of cuz, not exactly the same like what i've dreamt of yesterday night.


so coincidence can...
everything has got to do with CHANGI.
everything seems to link together.
i won't go changi alone...
nor would i want to explore the damn old changi hospital.



oh..
amaths p2 today is trash.
=DD

chem paper = total shit.
lol. expected.

talk about history then...
i studied and focus on Japan,
but well, none of it came out.
i was like wtf.
fortunately, i studied and remembered some of the other chapters.

for structured essay, choose 1 out of 3.
1) russia+stalin.
2) 3 conference+united nations.
3) china+mzd

out of these 3, i only remembered chunks of it.
thats prolly the worst situation you get.
in the end, i chose qns 1.
god bless.




((=

Happy mid-autumn ((=


argh. tml's chem paper again.
damn.
really hate it you know...
i might as well give up sub.sci
the moment i saw the book,
started to yawn already. how to carry on studying?

take care dudes.






someone's so stuck up.

I thought of calling initially.
but dropped the idea anyway.
cuz im not sure whether you'll be available.
so forget it.
i can't expect you to compromise with me.
when i myself don't giva hoot.

too bad-





books is what i face everyday now.
instead of friends, hp, comp...blablabla.
feel oike dying sometimes.
well, won't give up so easily.
i know of people who work 10x harder than me.
its only a mere one week of 'hardship' and im already whining like hell.
omg.
i wonder what its like when the real thing comes.
i even go to the extent of giving excuses not to go out.
tho my mom really nags,
but im not like those who's quarantined and a must to stay at home 24/7
should say that im the one who got the mental prob.
even reminded my mom sometimes to call me after school to go home early.
wth.
im going nuts.
if i fail majors,
jolly well bang my head against the wall.

At least i don't feel so bad now.



((=




alright. know what?
i spent like around 20 secs looking for any navigations in my friend's blog.
clicking everywhere on the front page.
but still, it leads to nowhere.
omfg.
can't they just make their blog simpler?
i just can't see any links at all.
just a page with some huge dumb writings.
like what mdm tai said, 'i won't use the word stupid'
yup.
im not saying that mine's fab or what.
but at least make your links visible to the naked eye.
right?


-slaps head.

Had my amaths p1, bio p1 & 2 today.
well, amaths p1 was much easier compared to prep's amaths p1.
really...
just hoped i won't fail. or at least borderline fail. don't fail too badly will do.
Bio p1 was like hmmm...no comments.
fell asleep soon after finishing the paper.
alrights. those morons kept disturbing me, asking me to wake up.
c`mon larh. i already finished the paper right...
its like im not the only who's sleeping okay.
Everybody was sleeping too.
and those funny teachers just have to come and asked me to wake up.
they'd die not disturbing me.
One particular new teacher, whom i don't even know whats his name, came up to me twice.
first time : 'paper easy uh? '
second time : -smiling & smiling... ' princess...' -pointing to my pencil case.

Mr Neo's a joker...
he came up to me twice too.

first time : ' woah...paper so easy uh...'
second time : ' i ask you wake up you don't want. that shuai ge ask you wake up then u wake up'

-roll eyes.


tml's my worst worst worst sub.
physics.


see me cry...




((=

A man's mannerism and poise is more important than his looks-

i've got stuffs to share but, forgotten abt it.
sorry. (=

by the way, tml's prelim.
pract first.
and, i don't know whether im in the first or second shift.
omg.
how?

i see quite a number of pending friend requests in my friendster's acc.
well, mine's full.
stop adding.
sorry to those ex-northlanders who added me.
i'll prolly del away some papaya people to add you guys.
((=


received a mysterious call from a guy in the afternoon.
hell. i don't know who he is.
neither do i know how on earth he gotten my number.
that particular sicko msg me and gave me his blog add.
call me even.
lunatic.


-slaps head

watched 'The Cave' today.
bought tix for 'The Longest Yard'.
but watch 'The Cave' instead.
lol.
i'd give 2 candies out of 5.
not thrilling.
not exciting.
the monster looks slimy and gross.
most importantly, the ending kinda disappointed me.
i thought the lady gon` transformed into the monster in the middle of the streets,
and there'll be a mass killing.
sad to say, the lady just walked into the crowd and disappear from the guy's sight.
*yawns.


went Bugis after that... walk walk around.
nothing to do.

off to toa payoh for that sickening tuition again.
feeling pretty sad for me uh.

My maths tutor said that,
im not discipline.
i need to change my lifestyle.
i need to concentrate more on my studies.
i mustn't let anything distract me.
i cannot socialise anymore.
complacency must not be continued,
if i want to pass and have satisfactory results for both my a/emaths.


wth.
im not discipline enough?
at least i make an effort to go there okay.
everytime go there til 7++,8++.
hello..my house's at yishun and ur tuition centre is situated at toa payoh.
do u have any idea how tiring and sickening it is to travel to and fro everyday?
you have a car but i don't.

secondly, i personally don't think that there's anything wrong with my current lifestyle.
it's not like i go clubbing everyday,
stay out late in the night.
i go home everyday.
and im now hardly out of the house unless there's really a need to.
the latest i get home is around 8-9pm.
and thats cuz of ur tuition.

thirdly,
i do admit that im still not in full-concentration mode.
well, im working on it.

Next, there's practically nothing that's distracting me.
i do not have a boyfriend, neither do i have a girlfriend.
so there is nothing which could be distracting enough...
and i don't really socialise larh.
i don't understand why u made this statement.
i mean i don't even socialise with the people in ur tuition centre.

alright. i'll just try my best for prelims.
god bless.
((=




before i forget,
i saw a pair of 'papaya' couple in the train while i was on my way back.
lol.
that girl stared real hard at me.
she's like scrutinising at me from head to toe.
giving me that very bitchy look at the same time.
-roll eyes.
for wadever reason? don't ask me. cuz i've no idea.
most prolly due to the fact that she has got a very ah-beng-ish boyfriend with her.
there's another thing which amuse me.
that is, her dress sense.
you guys wouldn't know what she wore.
ridiculous i tell you.
shall not elaborate more. waste my energy typing.
=DD
i almost burst out laughing and can't help giggling to myself.
but i held back.
2 reasons.
1)for fear that the public might mistook me for a lunatic.
2) wait later she ask her ah-beng hubby to gimme one tight slap. -mwa
asi said earlier, she stared at me from head to toe right?
know what i did?
i gave her my best ah-lian stare too.
*grins
i look-ed at her from her hair to her shoe.
lol.
and i keep staring and looking til she turns away.
she prolly thought i'll be scared by her.
-tactics.
blehs.
she's dumb i tell you.




that's all.



jjen.

im tied down by the past.
well,
studies more important.
focus...
concentrate...
looks more like a trash.

i feel sad for some girls out there.
know why?
i've got some male friends(handsome dudes) who said that girls who rebonded their hair looks fake.
oh...
don't be offended people.
im not the one who make this comment.
so cool alright...
this's just an opinion.
beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
well, i think some girls look really pretty and cool with straight hair.
really...
=DD

browse through my past entries just now.
woah. everything changes quite abit.
you people out there might not know.
but, i noticed it myself.
actually quite contented with my life now.
excluding the academics part definitely.
wasn't too happy with my family in the past...
i apologise for that.
scolded teachers in some entries.
and im still glad i did that.
cuz they're still as sickening as before.







much love,
jen

now i've got 500 peeps in my friendster acc.
and majority of em are those 'papaya' people.
well, im so-not-gon` create a second acc.
its a waste of time.
and those 'papaya' people flood my inbox everyday with dumb msgs.
which i don't even bother to read.

by the way, whats so wrong with some girls out there uh?
i mean those 'papaya' people in friendster...
came across a few profiles just now.
guess what.
these girls, have uploaded more than a dozen of self-pic.
and,
their photo captions suck.

' ugly miie',
'lol...wan tu puke riight?',
'ugly de moii',
'm ii borned tu b sho ugly?
'tats mii. yucks. err xiin riight???'


i was like omfg.
plssssss larh.
you people are contradicting.
firstly, you uploaded your self-pic in there cuz you think you look pretty or okay.
secondly, if you think you're disgusting or ugly, why still upload em?
thirdly, you must be thinking that you look pretty, thats why you post the pictures up.
look, you think you're pretty so you uploaded ur pictures into friendster but on the other hand, said idiotic stuffs like ' ugly miie' ..
wth...

Britney gon` give birth soon.
sometimes, i wonder...
whether Britney's born to make her hubby happy.
yup.
by the way, congrats..
Britney'll have to make another moneyspinning album,
to support her family.
cuz her hubby's jobless.
wad a bitch he is.








alright.
was supposed to go Singapore poly today.
howeve, decided not to go the last min.
headed to Bugis with bex, steph & fang.
we took neos there.
=DD



walk+shop around.
i didn't buy anything.
good for me.

the girls decided to come over and chill at my house.
they rent 2 vcds. ghost ...
and know what,
both are gay show.
extremely gay.
gay to the max.
me, steph and bex watched only 1/3.
fang spent most of the time using my comp.

but of cuz, we all spent some time photo whoring.
blehs.

here's the fab results. . . . . . .




alright, im being monkey in here..


steph, the ever-so-troubled girl.


her signature tongue.
bex was using the comp when i pull her to take one with me.
((=



what happened to my face uh?
looks as tho it has got blotches of stain on it.
damn.
the rest were busy taking self-pic. so vain.
left me.
so took one with mickey!.
ahaz.
thanks to leo for that toy.
((=




went long john eat dinner with bex, her sis and fang.
afterwhich, go timezone play bball.
and then,
i have to go home alone.
poor thing.
and and and...
im awfully bored now.
really...
anyone out there????

friendster's gay now.
i know that..
i'll stop once my acc reached 500 peeps.



i don't like my cam.
i prefer my old one.
the one which was featured in don't-know-what-digital-story..
blablabla.



always lazy to put pics into my entries.
pardon me.



=DD

alright. just got home not long ago.

you get to see all kinda of interesting people when you're in the train.
met this weird guy just now.
He let me see a msg.
' can i make friend with u. don't worry, i won't eat you up.'
omfg...
i felt like bursting into laughter at that very moment you know..
but managed to control larh..
since i was listening to my mp3,
i just gave him a very forced smile and turned away.
and that moron said sorry when i was about to got off the train.
how dumb can that person be..

mwa-

another time, i saw this extremely weird man.
when i said weird, he's really goddamn weird.
This particular man, i assumed was in his thirties/fourties.
He wore a pair of ancient glasses.
those veryveryvery huge kind.
and looks like a zillion fungus+bacteria has settled on it.
yucks.
overall, in short, he looks like a sex maniac to me.
yup. he really does look like one. especially with that big ugly plastic bag of his.
i've been noticing him you see...
he was swearing and cursing the guy standing in front of him.
'siao' right?
but i doubt that poor, innocent guy knew it.
and then,
this lady appear.
ya. this lady with half of her breast exposed.
you people should have seen the face of that sex maniac..
motherfcukingly gross.
he was giggling to himself..
look...see...giggle...look + see again...then giggle again..
i was like wth.
i feel like calling the asylum but too bad, i didn't have the num.
after the sexy lady went off, he stared at me.
yucks 10x.
i almost freak-ed out.
was afraid that he gon` pull out a knife out of his ugly huge plastic bag and...
started hacking at the people around.

alright..
i imagine too much.
well, you never know.
after all, those people are sick in the mind.












no headache.
no fever.
=D
not sick anymore.

by the way, timothy, thanks alot uh.
for the sweets,
the not-very-nice-drink,
& the bubbly tablets.
lol.
((=






did i mention that i bought a new printer?
think im gon` print all my photos again like siao..
the other photo printer of mine was like 1/2 faulty.
sad.

mom bought a 'toy-like' cam for me.
she said she'll use T5 while i use a <$400.
wtf.
so mean.
nevermind.
i'll go bug my dad.




today's amaths mock test is a joke.
scored 25%.
yeap. im always at the 20-30 range.
pathetic.
whoever founded amaths must be mocking at me in heaven now.
damn.

i've got things to blog about.
but just too tired.
let me get some rest.....


fatigue.





i'll try to be as sick as possible so as to escape maths tuition tml.
by the way,
im really sick now.
severe headache.
severe heartache.
severe sore throat.



god bless.

i've got several issues i wanna blog on.
but i'd prolly stop before i finish.
well, i'll continue as much as my mind allows me to..



[Wed]- teachers day celebration.

yup. i went school.
met fang early in the morning for breakfast.
we were chit-chatting with the guys and headed to school together.
alright. that dumb muthu were standing outside the sch gate i supposed.
thats why everybody started running.
and i hate it.
especially early in the morning when i just bathed.
no choice. ran along with em.
((=
only had 1 period of social studies.
went library during mt.
that 'old virgin' is there.
sad to say, everybody hates her.
including me.
stef asked me to do a test .
and i turned out to be in the sugar&spice category
=DD

something moronic happened during recess time.
weijie accidentally agitated fang.
and omfg.
that fang just threw a cup of milo across the table.
and guess wad... i kena the milo.
damn.
not only me.
leonard too.
and he's worst than me.
mine's only droplets of milo on the right side.
leo kena the back of his WHITE shirt.
quite a big patch.
was kinda pissed off you see..
and i just walked away.
later...
fang kept apologise profusely.
and she even cried.
lol.
don't worry.
i won't take it to heart.
im not that petty right?

oh. i cried.
not cuz of the milo.
but cuz of something else.
shan't mentioned abt it.

supposed to go seoul garden with stef and the rest.
but no mood.
in the end, went Xishan with khim, yl, vincent, jianwen and sherlynn.
somehow, i managed to cheer up.
and ((=, i made a friend there.
a pri 1 girl.
she's cute larh and she even want to gimme her num.
out the way out, we spotted a parrot.
that parrot's darn funny i tell you.
most importantly, he/she knows how to dance.
lol.
azwan kept wanna capture it into his cam.
as we were abt to leave, that idiotic parrot said 'bye bye'
we were like 'woah!'
of cuz, we turned back to disturb it again.
afterwhich, had to go for my fcuking boring tuition AGAIN.



mwa-







it's supposed to be a joke.
and now,
i really feel as tho there's something.
something i can't explain.